15

This was the 2nd day of my guided tour across garden route. I didn't like it because it didn't give me the freedom to explore things on my own..everything was arranged and I had no room for figuring things out for myself. It left me without any learning experience. I felt like a tourist..

At the end of the day, we went to our accommodation...which was right beside the beach. Looking at the sunset and the ocean made me feel grateful that I was here. This side of the ocean (Atlantic ocean) has large waves. Unlike the beaches I've been to where I could go into the water, I could only appreciate the ocean from afar. One way or another, water bodies mean a lot to me. It is a space where I learned how to be free, courageous and calm.

I am grateful that I get to witness these moments

its my 3rd Easter without my family. I tried to make the best out of it...I made Dorowot (Ethiopian chicken sauce). I rushed the process and it felt performative. I also went to a holiday gathering with my friends and it only felt like we ate and the gathering was over. Everything I did that day felt surface level until I decided to call an Ethiopian girl I met at the church. She said I could spend the rest of the day with them. At 4pm, I went to the park and met them. We had popcorn, coffee and bread... I also met her daughter...just 9 months old.

I went to their house and unexpectedly had a sleepover. We had Brai (bbq in SA) and coffee. I was not part of the conversations because it was more of a family talk. I was just listening and observing...after a while, I started playing with the kid.

At 5am, I heard a voice and I woke up. Turns out someone is praying, he was lighting the candle. I don't know how to explain this but it felt like I was home. It gave me flashbacks of my mom praying at 3am, but also the scenes I mentioned above were the same things that would happen at home...me chasing after my sister to dress her up, serving lunch, washing coffee, popping popcorn...serving food for guests

being part of political conversations just by sitting and listening

My new definition of home is a place where I feel like I belong. And it isn't necessarily physical.

I have never been a fan of the sun...always sweaty, tired when she is around. This day, I went to Sunset Rock with my friends at 4 pm. I never noticed the beauty of the sun till this day. I wasn't urged to take pictures or anything...I was looking at the sun. At some point, I teared up..I also smiled...I also laughed

I was surprised at how we are interconnected to the world. Not only to humans or our singular world. We are not at the top of the ecosystem, we are part of it. We can feel grounded simply by sitting infront of the sunset or the ocean. We feel heard and understood even if no one is with us...isn't that what we all want?

We co-exist with nature...we can't exploit it because we are part of it...simply means we are exploiting our existence.

Jennika (my friend) was nudging me since morning to visit an island nearby. She also said we would see dolphins and swim with them. She also said we would be snorkelling (I've never done this before). At first, I said no to all but changed my mind. From the beginning, it was a disaster...a lot of water went into the boat...my shoe was floating here and there.

I was scared of getting into water (I've always been scared of drowning). The moment I put my snorkel mask on, my heart started beating so fast. I then went into this massive blue...the surface was far out of reach. I was panicking...my body stopped breathing the moment I put my head underwater.

Jennika tried to calm me down and she held my hand. She promised she wouldn't let me go...and we will be swimming together.

I had my life jacket on and started swimming with her, put my head underwater...

I wouldn't trade this experience with anything...looking at the coral and fish was a different kind of world. I realized how the world operates beyond our daily lives...work, sleep, breakfast, etc...

It was its own universe.

It was also scared to put my head above surface again...I was scared of changing my position because the risk of drowning governed every part of my body.

After coming back though, I was so proud of myself for not letting my fear stop me. It gave me a mentality of "If I can snorkel, then I can definitely learn how to swim"

Over the next week, I actually learned how to swim (ofcourse Jennika taught me).

Now Jennika calls me "my little dolphin"

Meeting FS fellows online is such a hype. We went around UCT together, went to Waterfront and sang with a street musician. I was also cheering up with the crowd. I also joined their dance....it is so beautiful to see art bond a community.

Other than that, I enjoyed knowing princess more through our conversation...it is surprising that we have many common things. She is such a good listener. Guys if you want to yap, go to her. We talked about many things such as what it means to be a third culture kid.

One day after arriving to Zanzibar, I went out and started exploring the city I was in. I was so mesmerised by the ocean that I stopped, sat for once and started staring. A guy came close to me and asked me why I was alone. He said I looked sad. I told him no...I am just enjoying the view. Then he introduced me his name and told me it was his 26th birthday. He took a day of from his work to celebrate his birthday and he said he would be excited to spend it with me.

I asked him weird questions like: how do I trust you?

Anyway...I was confident since the place I was in had lots of surveillance cameras. I previously told him that people coming and talking to me bothered me because I genuinely want to be alone. Then he told me he would take me to a quiet place...the rooftop of an abandoned building.

The building used to be a museum and some of the things that were left to read were quite interesting.

We went to local market place (bought a loofah cause I forgot mine at home :)). He explained to me how local and touristy market places have a huge gap in prices and suggested I come here if I want cheaper prices. I randomly told him that I love cats and he took me to a vet clinic. Its more like a daycare for cats honestly...Most of them are healthy.

That moment felt like a picture on my vision board came to reality. I really love cats and never imagined myself in the middle of 50 of them. I loved observing them but was also surprised at how the society cares about cats (they donate cat food to the caretaker)...their care surpasses their neighbourhood, relatives, tourists.

I saw homeless people buy cat food and actually feed stray cats.

I felt happy, at the same time sad because I don't have this in my country anymore...it is slowly fading away.

In Zanzibar, I learned how precious peace and security is. They probably take it for granted but we can't do anything without these two.

It feels like Tanzania is peaceful relative to other African countries...at what cost? Homogenising the language to Swahili only

I still wonder...what is worth sacrificing for peace?

It was my last day in Stone Town...and there were places I wanted to visit before I left. The old slave market and Cathedral church. I finished visiting both in half a day and didn't know what to do with the rest of the day. I searched for museums, came across one and started making my way there. Before I arrived, I looked at a small poster pointing to the left direction and decided to follow it instead. What seemed like an empty room at first was an art gallery. I read the biography of the artist and was so interested to know more about him. He grew up in Zanzibar but also went to Oman, did his art degree in England...his art is a representation of Zanzibar's cultural diversity. Guess what...THE ARTIST WAS IN THE ROOM...giving drawing workshops to students. I didn't expect that...I thought he was far out of reach.

So I started talking to him about how he started doing this...why...all the questions I had in my mind.

He told me that these arts are actually Arabic alphabets. They show Zanzibar's multifaceted identity not only as part of Tanzania...but in a different lens.

It is an Island that was mostly used for slave trade and market....after that, it was colonized by Oman. And also the reason why it is muslim populated.

He asked me why I was surprised and I told him..."These aren't the arts I see on Stone Town streets...they are more of Savanna, tigers, lions, elephants"

That was when he explained how Zanzibar's history is different from the mainland. It is not right to generalize their experience into such art because honestly speaking, there is no Safari in Zanzibar...it is an island and doesn't inhabit any of the wild animals.

Such an eye opening experience

This is Yasmim and Alice...they are so adorable. This was one of our session to work together on writing essays. They were so supportive and we made sure that we had goals before our session and appreciated each other at the end whether its two/one thing off the list. They made my college application process so much fun...we opened Brazilian songs, they were trying to teach me Portuguese they made fun of me everytime I mess up, one word I wouldn't forget is "Macetando" ...if someone had to ask "how are you?" you can reply with "macetando"...means I'm good, I'm cool but it is used in many contexts.

and they were making me laugh so hard..Yasmim and Alice, I love you guys so much

Few days before travelling to Thailand, I was stressed with all the work I had to complete before. This particular day, I worked on an essay the whole day only to be told that it is not good at all. I almost gave up and at that moment, going to the church came to my mind. I sat for a long time with silence and observed people come and go.

Also, I got a random phone call from someone who needed help with something. I offered an advice and it was already evening. By then, I forgot about my stress and was ready to move on with my day. Going to the church helps me calm down, but also makes me think "What is the best I can do now?"

I leave feeling peaceful and a little bit motivated

I usually eat at home, and a variety of foods isn't something I'm used to. I stick to my traditional foods. If I try other foods outside I might like/dislike it (at the expense of other people's money). This year, I had the agency to try things out and bring a variety of foods to cook at home. This is one of the foods I tried outside. It was the best. It motivated me to go around Addis Ababa and keep exploring different tastes. I made sure that every time, I ate different things. I would say I am a lot more open than I used to before in terms of my food taste.